Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize