Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
