I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize