soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
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Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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