everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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