that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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