what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
