There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
