so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
