She said her name was "party"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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