I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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