Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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