dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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