Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
