Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Do you still have your period?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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