He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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