yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
