yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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