oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize