susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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