Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
