it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
