Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
