remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
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