i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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