I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
