My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
