The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
