Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The beer is more important than you right now.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
