can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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