I'm going to jail i love you
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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