His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
