The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Randomize
