end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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