Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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