I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
