What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
