my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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