is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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