The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
