I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
