Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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