Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize