so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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