We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
