I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
