Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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