Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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