I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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