okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
