I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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