Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
