Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Randomize
