Your tits are I can't wait for
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
