I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize