tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
