Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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