I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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