I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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