The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
