I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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