i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
