GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
