so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
