Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
as a side note pls kill me
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
