i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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