And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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