I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
