So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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