My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
