shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
