Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize