I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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