Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Need sex. Gaining weight.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
